The Router [1]

When various packets do headlong[2] delve in[3],
To the immense network[4] of links and nodes,
With their companions sweetly do blend in[5],
Each's[6] secret each in its payload[7] enfolds.
"O diligent Sir Router" quoth[8][9] packets,
"Wherefore detainst thou us here, us[10] thence bound?"
"Congestions, disconnections, bad circuits[11][12],
Which all can me or thy mission[13] confound.
I shall deliver with my effort best,
As I each of ye do send to next hops;
And if I be with my fit fortune blest,
Thou shalt arrive, nor be thy fellows dropped[14]."
Thus answered Router our friend[15] warm and keen,
Who at[16] next moment crashed, alack, unseen. [17]

  1. Major revision needed. This was among my first sonnets - virtually everything breaks in it.

  2. fix stress

  3. fix stress: though both monosyllable words, "delve" should be stronger than "in"

  4. fix stress

  5. fix stress

  6. fix grammar

  7. fix stress

  8. grammar error, change to "ask"

  9. add a syllable "the" to make a feminine ending

  10. "here" and "us": bad "Di-Dum" separated by comma, though wildcard

  11. incorrect feminine ending, missing one syllable

  12. loose rhyme

  13. wrong stress

  14. loose rhyme

  15. wrong stress, though wildcard. concrete nouns should be "DUM"

  16. strange to omit "the"

  17. prefer sentences in correct structure: S-V-O